You can't always get what you want, goes the Rolling Stones song of the same name, but if you never ask for what you want, then you will will never know if you could get it. With that in mind, I began asking for everything I wanted out of life. I still don't always get what I want, but at least I'm asking and making an effort.

No, I don't expect my wants and desires to be handed to me on a silver platter. (Like that wouldn't be totally fabulous?) I ask, and I motivate myself toward obtaining my wants and desires. It's not as much fun as having things handed to you, but it's real.

What I Want As A Proud Gay Pagan....

A Gay Opinion 7/99

By R.A. Melos

For those who have read previous entries about the man I called Mr. Right, you will understand the first thing I want is to live in a world where a man doesn't have to fear his sexuality, or run away from it, because he fears society won't understand or accept him for himself. I want for men to stop calling it an experiment when it goes on for more than two or three encounters. I want for society to stop making excuses, stop telling men they just haven't found the right woman, stop lying to yourself and everyone else.

I am a gay man. I like being gay, I enjoy sex with men, have never in my life wanted to be a woman, and don't want men in my life who want me to be a woman, or themselves want to be a woman. Homosexuality is not about wanting to be something else, but about wanting to be with someone of the same gender.

Saying this, I want to live in a world where it is acceptable for me to openly and legally marry whom I choose. I want to hold my partner's hand in public, and kiss in public, just like the straight people. I want the rights of straight and gay people to be the same. I'm tired of feeling like a non-person because I am attracted to someone of the same gender. I guess what I'm asking for is a miracle.

That's it! I want a miracle. I want Mr. Right, and all the other Mr. Rights out there in the world to feel safe enough and secure enough in their masculinity to come out of the closet and accept themselves as the gay men they are, and to stop hiding behind lies and secrets. I want a world where gays are elected to congress (okay, so we got that one), where gays can marry legally, and adopt children without some red necked son-of-an-ex-president (now a current president) supporting legislation banning gays from adopting children.

Check it out! This guy thinks only two parent, opposite sex couples should be allowed to adopted, because only male and female role-models make good parents. He's soooo right. Look at Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee. A straight couple, just watch their video. Look at Bill and Hillary Clinton. Look at some of your own parents. Now isn't this man just sooo right? Aren't straight parents much better role models than any loving nurturing gay couple could ever be? Can you say Mick Jagger and Jeri Hall?

Sorry, I lost it back there. Maybe that guy who yaps about men being from Mars is right. But than, where are gay men from? Okay, so I'd call that book, Men Are From Mars, But Gay Men Are From The Really Chic Sections Of The Red Planet. That's right, laugh if you must, but think about it.

What I'm getting at here is very simple. I'm getting tired of not always feeling welcome on my own planet, and I think every gay and lesbian person out there feels the same way. So let's stand up. I urge all gay men and women to get out there, get in the faces of the straight people and let them know you exist. Let them know you're there and the world will have to accept you on your terms. This isn't the time to allow former presidents' sons, (again, he's the president now!) or any other would-be Hitleresque dictator to force the gay community back in the closet.

So stand up for your rights. Stand up and be counted. The more the straight folks see us, the less they'll be able to resist us. After all, we're just too damn cute.



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