Homosexuals are constantly barraged with the "choice" question, and I find it offensive. I challenge every heterosexual to tell me the exact moment in their life when they consciously made the "choice" to be heterosexual? Calling homosexuality a choice is likening it to a fashion statement. "I chose to wear my homosexuality today."

Well, I don't wear homosexuality, I am a homosexual and am proud of who I am. My choice is to be proud of who I am, rather than living a life of lies.

Choices: To Be Or Not To Be
A Gay Opinion 7/10/00
by R.A. Melos

While at work today, myself and several coworkers had a long discussion about my ex-lover A.K.A. the spineless jellyfish A.K.A. the person formerly known as Mr. Right. During the conversation another gay man brought up the fact Mr. Right chose not to be gay, and this is something I disagree with wholeheartedly.

I firmly believe we are born with our sexuality already intact, much like we are born with heart, lungs, and brain. The choice is not whether or not we want to be gay, we are gay. The choice is whether or not we want to repress our natural inclinations, our natural desires, in order to make society happy.

As I see it, Mr. Right is naturally gay by birth. By choosing to live a heterosexual lifestyle, he is repressing his natural sex drives in order to avoid a sense of rejection by society. There are many gay men who are able to live a life of repression. However, there are just as many gay men who choose to be happy with who they are, accepting themselves as they are without the need to fit into someone else's mold of who they should be; for they are secure in themselves.

The urge by society for the gay man to repress himself in order for those less secure with their own sexuality is like society asking an artist not to create because they themselves do not have the ability to be content with their own lack of creativity. I fully believe a majority of heterosexual society is insecure with their own lives in one way or another, and because of these insecurities they urge homosexuals to repress their own sense of happiness and emotional security.

All those closeted men, such as my former Mr. Right, may think or even claim to have chosen a heterosexual lifestyle, and they are right, they have chosen a lifestyle, but they did not choose their sexuality. They have chosen to repress their individuality, their natural desires, their souls, but they have not chosen not to be gay.

Being homosexual or heterosexual is a choice made for us by the universe itself, and not something we can eliminate simply by telling ourselves we don't want to be that way. The demand by heterosexuals for homosexuals to deny themselves is the same as claiming the sky is green. Just because we say it is so doesn't make it so.

Closeted men do make love to their wives, and live as heterosexuals in every sense of the word, but it is an illusion, nothing more than a self imposed glamoury which will eventually fade away like any facade. Their choice to repress themselves leaves the subconscious the same options as a dam about to bust, for if the natural desire is denied expression in one way it will find expression in another.

Some closeted men allow their desires to vent in cyberspace, through safe forms of anonymous homosexual contact via the Internet. Conversing with others in chat rooms with names like "curious m4m", or "Str8m4m", allowing their natural urges to take over for a few brief moments before safely repressing them back into the darker recesses of their own emotionally insecure closet.

So, the choice is not whether or not to be gay, but whether or not to be happy?

My ex-lover chose, by his own words, "to live a lie". I choose to live a happy truth.

How about the rest of you?



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