The collaboration question concerned Judas, as in a Judas among us. I felt and still feel, narrow-minded and closed minded people are akin to the feeling of a Judas among us.
A Gay Opinion 6/12/01
by R.A. Melos
A person in one of the many on-line discussion groups of which I am a member, defined being gay as something you do in bed. So homosexuality, in the minds of some homosexuals, is nothing more than a sexual act. So, my question is, if homosexuality is, in its base form, merely a sexual act, what is heterosexuality?
The majority of the population is, supposedly, heterosexual, and simply by acts of marriage, public displays of affection such as holding hands, and all the legal rights associated with it, heterosexuality is associated with more than a mere sexual act. So, I, as a homosexual, feel it is time everyone, gay and straight alike, start to respect the fact homosexuality, without the legal benefits of marriage, is also something more than merely a sexual act.
In my opinion, both homosexuality and heterosexuality are emotional ways different people view the world. We get to hear, on a daily basis, the heterosexual viewpoint of everything from politics to the weather; with the exception of the disco hit made famous by The Weather Girls, "It's Raining Men," which obviously crosses sexual lines making it a shared viewpoint.
Along with the heterosexual viewpoint of everything else, we also get to hear the heterosexual viewpoint on homosexuality which, aside from those right-wing heterosexuality-is-the-only-way or only-"normal"-act attitudes, still brings homosexuality down to the level of being nothing more than a sexual act. When this attitude is repeated enough even homosexuals begin to define their essence of being as nothing more than a sexual act.
I was born as I am, sexually speaking, with the natural desire to pair up with a member of the same sex. Not just any member of the same sex, but with one to whom I am sexually and emotionally attracted. Being born with a "gay perspective" or viewpoint, I tend to see everything in terms of homosexuality. When I look at a work of art, I see the beauty in it, but I may be seeing different beauty then a heterosexual would see. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
So, when I look at the Mona Lisa I see the beauty in the brush strokes which immortalized a chubby girl with a nice smile, while others see a portrait of a women whom many people today consider to be the epitome of beauty for her time. When I see Michelangelo's David I see the sexual beauty of ancient man, while others see the skill and workmanship of a talented sculptor.
This doesn't mean I can't appreciate a truly beautiful woman, simply because I am not sexually attracted to her. Nor do I want to hop in the sack with every handsome man I see, regardless of his sexuality, just because he is handsome. However, if I am to believe pop-culture, as preached to me by film, television, and all media forms, including heterosexual men themselves, I must believe all heterosexual men want to have sex with EVERY woman they see.
Now I know this is a myth, just as it is a myth all homosexual men want to have sex with EVERY man they see. Let me assure many of you heterosexual men out there, you are perfectly safe to roam nude beaches, locker rooms, public restrooms, or the streets in general without fearing your masculinity may be in question because a gay man might find you attractive. Guys, most of you are lucky you could attract anyone of the same species, let alone the same sex.
Of course the media perpetuates both myths equally, making it difficult to not look at everyone you see as a perspective life companion. At least, the single people who are looking for life partners will be checking out every slab of flesh wandering by, with an eye for a package with whom they might enjoy spending some time.
When confronted with this possibility I thank the universal powers, or whatever power you might believe in, I have enough sense to think for myself and not follow blindly the media propaganda machine which tells me I should be attracted to EVERY man I see. For me, being gay is about more than a brief, or not so brief if its done right, sexual act.
For me, being gay is about expressing who I was born to be, by living my life openly and honestly, without feeling the need to apologize for being born gay, or without the need for the approval of society in general. All I want from the general heterosexual society is the respect to live my life as I see fit, without the constant need to fight for the same respect heterosexuals take for granted.
I view the world through rainbow-colored glasses, seeing the inequality with which homosexuals are treated. I see heterosexual couples engaged in public displays of affection ranging from soul kissing on a street corner to walking along, sided by side, holding hands, to an affectionate touch on the cheek or tousle of the hair, and realize heterosexuals take these actions for granted. On the other hand, heterosexuals don't see, very often, those same acts between companions of the same sex, because most often those same actions would incur ridicule, open hostility, and possible violence.
When a heterosexual couple reaches out to hold hands, neither partner has the thought they may be risking a physical attack by someone who doesn't approve of their natural born inclinations to show affection for one another, but there isn't a gay person out there who hasn't wanted to touch their partner in a similar manner and either paused or refrained from doing so because of the very real threat from a closed minded society.
Being gay is so much more than a shared bed and a sexual act, its about natural attractions being acknowledged, natural affections being exchanged, without the fear of violence or social ostracism because you are just being yourself. It's about not having to watch every move you make, or everything you say, for fear of offending closed minded heterosexuals. It's about being honest with society and yourself, and not living in fear.
I've heard some of the most ridiculous statements claiming homosexuals don't breed so we have to recruit others into our lifestyles. Hey, all of you heterosexuals, listen up. Women give birth, and some of these women are lesbians, so homosexuals can and do breed. Also, most homosexuals of my generation were born from heterosexual parents. So, heterosexuals breed homosexuals.
Another point I'm going to make is the obvious one. I, and most homosexuals, don't live our lives to perpetuate the species. This may appear selfish to those heterosexuals out there who have multiple numbers of children because they believe it's what God wants, and you know what, maybe it is selfish. I know I never wanted to be a father, even when I was too young to understand what went into being a father. I have never had that so-called natural desire to raise a small version of myself.
I actually find the concept of parenting something so uninteresting to me, I've never given it much thought one way or the other. When I think about the egotistical attitude associated with parenthood, the desire to carry on the family name, or the need to have someone to remember me when I'm gone, I'm overwhelmed at the level of selfishness I see in the heterosexual community. If anything, homosexuals are the one who are more socially minded by foregoing the egotistical reproduction of themselves, allowing for egotistic heterosexuals to breed without thought for the resources of the planet.
I don't believe you can recruit or coerce anyone into a homosexual lifestyle, who isn't already inclined by nature to be homosexual. I don't go looking for heterosexuals to "convert" since there are far more gay men available than ever, and closeted guys or truly straight guys don't interest me. I've got so many more important things to do with my life, including finding a life partner who lives up to my expectations of what a life partner should be, just as heterosexuals expect of their life partners.
If our sexuality, both heterosexuality and homosexuality, was truly only about a sexual act, it would make the entire world so much easier to cope with, because we would all admit to being animals with sexual desires, act on those desires, and then go back to the business of running the world, creating great works of art, and expressing ourselves without the need to define ourselves in any way.
Oh well, that ain't ever gonna happen. So, I'm still a gay male who writes and expresses myself through the art of word arrangement. What are you?