A Gay/Pagan Opinion 1/01/03
by R. A. Melos
He is coming. No, I'm not talking about Santa Claus. The "He" of whom I'm speaking is the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Host of Hosts, etc. No, I haven't gone Christian on you. I'm just pointing out a different religion's viewpoint, and not only is He coming, but you can own him, or a graven image of him in the form of Huggy Jesus.
Yes, at huggyjesus.com, you can find a cuddly and washable Jesus doll. Now when this site was pointed out to me, at first I didn't give it another thought. I'm Pagan, and rarely give Christian things much thought, but then it hit me. I saw the light, as it were, and in the light was the dollar sign. Oh yeah, there is big money in Jesus.
My next move was to do a web search of Jesus. More specifically novelty Jesus items. After all, if there is a washable Jesus doll out there, I reasoned, there must be other Jesus items. So I went forth to Goggle, and didst searcheth, and I found Buddy Jesus. Praise The Lord!
Now for those who don't remember Buddy Jesus, he was not a stand up comedian headlining at the Sodom Hilton. Buddy Jesus was the dashboard statue in the film Dogma. With his smile and cute hand gestures, he can now protect you when you are traveling on the highways and byway in search of your own fulfillment.
Now if a dashboard Christ isn't your thing, how about a cute Bobble head Christ for your rear window? I've always been amused by those dachshunds which sit in the rear windows of cars with their little heads bobbing up and down. Well, now you can own a bobbing Jesus, with his little head bobbing up and down nodding with you as you literally maneuver the bumpy roadways of life.
If all of this is too crass for your tastes, how about inspirational sports statue Jesus. These adorable statuettes come in most popular sports, including baseball, basketball, and football. Talk about your Hail Mary pass! Now you can own a cute collectible figurine statue of children playing your favorite sport with the help of their pal, Jesus.
What I find most interesting about the last item is that it can be found at www.catholicshopper.com. Oh yes, while thou shalt have no graven images, apparently Jesus sports statues are just fine.
Now I'm not casting any stones here. Really, I'm not. The entire idea of Jesus images is fine with me, considering I have images of my Gods and Goddesses around my house. All I want to know is, when did Christian and Catholic religions become so liberal?
It was only a few years ago when I stopped going to church because I felt my former religion had nothing to offer me as a gay man. I felt like an outsider, when those oh so religious folk started to preach against the sins which were my life. The very fact they considered my life a sin, while I considered it perfectly natural tells you how far apart I was from my former religion.
I remember occasionally telling some of the more zealous churchgoers I knew, to lighten up. Who knew these types would do just that. It never occurred to me any of them would actually lighten up their pompous attitudes long enough allow Jesus to become a huggable and washable doll.
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