I haven't changed my mind, in any way, on the topic of Gay Think.

Gay Think
A Gay Opinion 5/22/00
by R.A. Melos

"I don't understand how gays think?" said a rather ignorant woman, as she pulled her three children along behind her. She was shopping with her friends, all of whom were wearing too much make-up and stuffed into leotards like too much turkey after a holiday meal, prattling on about how it just can't be "normal" to think like "queers".

I want to thank this nameless breeder, and all those like her for the inspiration to write this article, and for the desire to give heterosexuals everywhere a glimpse into one gay man's mind so they may perhaps pry open their own minds and learn something.

Let me start with music. The medium of audio is meant to entertain, to open us to grow and think. An example of how I think as a gay man would be when I hear the song "Me and Mrs. Jones", the 1973 classic by Billy Paul, which laments about an affair between two people who meet at the same cafe every day. I picture this song to be about a married woman meeting her lesbian lover and the torture they feel at not being able to be together because of societal circumstances.

Another favorite song of mine is Reba McEntire's moving duet "Does He Love You", sung by two women in love with the same man. One woman is his wife, the other his mistress. Now when I hear this song I think about it being sung by a married woman and her cheating husband's homosexual lover.

For me, the classic Pasty Cline hit "She's Got You", is about a gay man who laments on the pain he feels because his homosexual lover was afraid to come out of the closet and entered into a heterosexual relationship choosing to live a lie, making this a song about the pain lies cause.

Yes, I do like disco as well, I know how stereotypical that may sound, but songs like "I Will Survive," The Gloria Gaynor hit, is not about a man returning to his girlfriend, but about a lesbian relationship breaking up badly.

Now let me move on to television. I do watch quite a bit, or rather I fast forward through much of it thanks to the marvels of VCR's. I hardly ever see a commercial, and when the shows get boring I press a button. In general there is relatively little of real value, but for mind numbing relief after a day of dealing with heterosexual society just about anything will do.

I admit I am disappointed with television. For instance, on the X-Files, I wish Fox Mulder would get beyond the repressed homosexuality I sense and plant a hot passionate kiss on his boss Walter Skinner. You just know they both really want it.

And retroactively, you know Alice was more suite for Carol Brady. They could've set up a much happier household, and Mike Brady could pursued a relationship with Sam the butcher in peace. And don't even get me started on Gilligan's Island.

As for the current crop of television fare, Will and Grace is supposed to be the homosexuals answer to years of non-gay programming. I'll give the programmers the benefit of the doubt, they do have openly gay characters, who don't seem to have successful relationships or even date. I wonder how much input, if any, closed minded thinkers like Dr. Laura Schlessinger had in this decision?

Okay, so I won't be happy until weekly television programming shows a partnered homosexual couple dealing with life. And no, The Odd Couple doesn't count.

The mind is a funny thing, since it is where we store learned behavior, yet my way of thinking proves to me you are born homosexual and it is not a choice. I have always thought differently than heterosexual society even when I was trained to believe my thinking was wrong, and I am not only confronted with these differences in thought in the audio and visual fields.

We all hear what we want to hear, yet I don't hear what I want to hear. I want to hear acceptance of my lifestyle, not rejection, and the expectation of my then accepting heterosexual lifestyle, as if I can simply embrace the idea like a jungle savage converted to Christianity.

When I look around and see a straight couple walking down the straight, holding hands and they stop to kiss, I don't think "oh isn't that romantic", I think "how dare you flaunt your sexuality with such abandon when denying me the same freedom?" I feel the jealousy of thousands of years of closeted oppression boil within me, and I yearn for the freedom they are expressing, without the fear of small minded people, who don't understand their own minds let alone the complicated minds of the homosexual, turning violent in their efforts to protect themselves from discovering love is a universal concept and not something only shared between a man and a woman.

If a heterosexuals want to know what a homosexual thinks, rather than speculating and showing their true prejudice and ignorance, they should simply ask. I'm more than willing to give lessons in Gay Think. However, they should be prepared to have their minds opened and expanded. All those centuries of closeted oppression are imprinted in our DNA, and many of us like nothing more than to clean out the closets and make room for what truly belongs there; ignorance, prejudice, and ugly clothes no one wears.



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