Truth is a precious commodity in a world of lies!

I Wish You Truth, Love and Courage
A Gay Opinion 5/01/00
by R.A. Melos

The Lady Chablis spoke of her "T" in the film "Midnight In The Garden Of Good And Evil," we are sworn to tell it and uphold it, yet it is the most abused of all the qualities of which man is capable. Truthfulness, honesty, with the world and with one's self, are the uniting thread which binds together myself and all of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered (GLBT) community.

In recent years truth and honesty took a terrible beating from the general public. While people rated truth and honesty as important qualities, they were more than willing to forgive lies when it comes to fidelity. To me this shows a lack of self respect, to think it would be okay to have a partner lie to you, to accept a partner's lies and infidelities, and to forgive them repeatedly denigrates ones personal value.

The thread of truth is valuable to me since, three years ago, I was fighting so hard to preserve my own lies I didn't realize how freeing the truth would be when it finally emerged. I've heard the truth denigrated on a daily basis in the media, derided as "an occasionally necessary evil." The truth is far from evil, it is a key to self-respect, something greatly lacking, in my opinion, in much of the closeted GLBT community.

I say the closeted community because, in spite of the large number of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people who are out and about in the world, there is an equally large number of closeted GLBT people who are undermining the very fabric of self-respect of those with the courage to face their own inner truths. By hiding in a closet, or a marriage of convenience, these people are sending a message of complacency to those who would see the GLBT community disappear back into the collective closet of society, or worse.

This thread of truth is a strong bond, but it can be weakened by those who are unwilling to face the truth about themselves. The other night, I heard a young man on a call-in talk show called "MTV's Lovelines". He was 19 and afraid to come out to his parents as a gay man, because they might not be ready to accept him. One of the two hosts of this show, the one who isn't a board certified clinical psychologist, suggested the young man should perhaps "continue to keep his secret and just have a bunch of anal sex while he's young," because some people will never be ready to hear the truth. The host then cut away to a commercial, leaving the impression that homosexuality is dismiss able and only about the sexual act, and lying is acceptable, and ignoring a problem is acceptable.

If I'm not mistaken, those very acts of self-denial, looking the other way, advising people to "not be vocal" about themselves, is the same kind of thinking that allowed the Nazi party to gain its strength. I know this sounds extreme, but it is an extreme time in which we all live.

Currently, in the United States, George W. Bush is running for President. He also supports legislation which, if passed in its current worded form, would not only ban the possibility of homosexuals being allowed to adopt, but also retroactively retract all those adoptions which are already in existence. Essentially this legislature is designed to take children from the only home they may know, simply because their adoptive parents are in a same-sex relationship.

There are other legislatures GWB supports, which would put an end to the fight for same-sex marriages by banning them, along with partnership benefits.

All this adds up to a collective burying of the heads in the sand of anti-gay folk everywhere. If such legislation were to pass it would not destroy the one truth that is self evident for all of the GLBT community, and that is, our same-sex love will still exist. It existed for centuries in the closet, and it will continue to exist in spite of heterosexual efforts to mask it, or hide it, or even destroy it.

We are not deviants, or defects of nature, but a natural extension of humanity. We are just like any extraordinary natural phenomenon, and should be observed for our inner beauty and allowed to thrive and grow, and evolve to the next natural level.

Homosexuality, in spite of what that dimwitted talk show host suggested, is not only about a sexual act. For me, and for many homosexuals, a relationship is about that wonderful feeling of love one person shares for another. Sex, in whatever position you choose, is a natural extension of that love.

The threads of truth and love are but two of the many fibers that make up the universal tapestry, and by denying these threads, man is denying the beauty of that tapestry. Our love enriches the beauty of the human race, and it is time those of us who are closeted looked in the mirror, accepted their own "T", and chose to thrive and grow in the light of day, even if it is a struggle, rather than stagnate and die alone in the darkness because of fear of societal repercussions.

I know it sounds like I'm beating up on the closeted members of our society, and I'm not. I'm urging them to come out because I know how self-destructive the lies and half-truths can be, and I would spare them the pain I've been through. I'm opening my arms to all those who are closeted and telling them I love them and welcome them out into the real world. It isn't easy, but if they are ever to be more than they are, now is the time to fight for who and what they are, instead of complying with a bunch of closed minded bigots who would first take away their rights, and, if they could, eventually take away their lives as well.

My views might be extreme, but look at the general reaction society takes to any one issue, and you'll see extremist reactions all around. I'm a "speak now" kind of guy. So I'm speaking. My voice may be heard, and hopefully it will open up someone else to speak, and those two voices will eventually form a choir, which will add more beauty to the already colorful tapestry of life.


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